Barely Hear You


Surabaya get its rainy season. It rained nearly everyday. I caught them when I went and left for work, and of course I caught a cold the day after.

Since I can do almost everything I need to do, I forgot if I have a cold and didn’t get enough rest. I deal with my nasal mucus for a week, or so. Sneezed and blew my nose.

One day, I woke up with something bugged my left ear. I felt like something covering it, I barely hear anything. I took a cotton bud and clean it. But it didn’t work. Then I tried to do the stupid and barbar method, I tilted my head, knocked it and wished the unknown thing that covering my ear would fell off. Well, IT WORKS! So I lifted my head.. get ready to start the day. Theeen, it hit me again.

After a few times of bow down and tilted my head, turned out that my left ear lost its ability whenever I put my head in a normal position. But I hear everything as clear as usual if my head faced down. My conclusion was, a fluid, probably my mucus, trapped in my left ear. Blocking every sound that my left ear should received.

But still, I didn’t really give a shit about it. I thought it’s gonna be okay in a few days. The fluid will out on its own, and I’ll recover my sense of hearing. So I started the day with a half-deaf condition. It went just okay and normal, except my colleagues need to repeat several things when we talked.

Few days later, when I thought it will be okay, turned out it getting worse. I woke up with a buzzing sound in my left ear. My body temperature a lil bit off. I get mad easily and grumpy. And when I tried to bow down to fix them like before, I felt like my left ear get stabbed to my brain. So I called it a day and decide to visit an ENT specialist.

I went to the Premiere Hospital, take a queue number and waiting. The ENT specialist placed next to the pediatrician. While I wait, I saw this little kid walked around the waiting room with his nasal mucus gently flowed to his mouth. He sneezed and look at me. He passed me by with that fucked up face, with a lot of mucus in his face. I couldn’t help but got dizzy. I imagined about those that trapped in my left ear.

Thank God the nurse called me and asked me to get into the doctor’s office, that random yet disgusting imagination instantly vanished.

The doctor asked me what happened while checking my health records. I told him about the cold and my left ear. I also mentioned my sinus condition to him. He checked me out, and said that I got an ear infection because of my bad habit on sneezing. I sneezed too hard, resulted a high pressure to my ear and caused an infection. Fortunately, my sinus and asthma is okay. So what I need to do is a full recovery from the cold! He gave me antibiotics, several medicines and nasal spray. I should get better in a week, or I’ll need to check in for another treatment.

I don’t know if I’ll get better or no. But the thought of losing my left ear is frightening. I used to listen to my fave song or watch a TV-shows to make me feel better. But it stress me out even more to do those. All that I can hear was a buzzing sound in my left ear, driving me nuts and anxious. I’m afraid I’ll be half-deaf and need to read lips to help me better in understand what you were just saying. I’m afraid I can’t enjoy the sound of the ocean when the waves trying to kiss the shorelines. I’m afraid I can’t play any instruments and enjoy a good music.

Oh well, you don’t know how much it means til you lose it, don’t you?


3 thoughts on “Barely Hear You

  1. Hi Shellya,

    I also got an episode of hearing loss last year. I believe it was a temporary side effect of medication that I was going through. While I got my hearing back now, thinking that I might lose it back then really gives me a shudder. 😦

    Oh, and get well soon. 🙂

  2. The same thing also happened to me once. I lost my hearing in my ear month ago. The cause is, well, my stupidity. I love picking earbuds into my ear hole. Not only it clean the surface but also has nice sensation. Thing is, i havent pick earbud for a month. So dirt accumulate inside.

    When i pick an earbud into my left ear, i got strange sensation. I fell like pushing something deeper. And i got slight hearing loss in my left ear. Not a nice feeling, but not a very bad one. It feels like my left ear always covered by something.

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