Born to Live Alone

Someone told me, “You’re basicly a loner.”

It’s not that I’m a loner. I just hate people, most of the time. I think of them as a needy creature, craving for more and more attention. It disgusts me that they put themselves first among other things—that may have higher priority than whatever their tiny little problem they can’t stop complaining about. Everyone in this fucking cruel world has problems, right?  Continue reading


Life is a bitch.

I thought I hit rock bottom on 2015, but 2016 proved me wrong. Back then I believe I’m tough enough, I can stand on my own feet and face the world. I tried to put my smile every day and hoped that 2017 will be better.

Unfortunately, the world doesn’t work that way. Life will knock you down, over and over again. Just when I thought my life is getting better and I finally can have my smile, shit happens. Again.

2017 knocks every aspect of my fucking life down. I have to go through the same struggle I had on 2015 and 2016 AT THE FUCKING SAME TIME! But my life thinks those are not enough and I can get away easily. So, my life decides to screw me over by blowing another part of my life, BIG TIME!

I wish I could cry and complaining about my life like most people do. But, whenever I tried to, I froze. The only thing I had on my lips was a smirk. Not even a word. And my consciousness keeps telling me that I don’t need someone else pity my life.

Now, I feel like my life is forcing me to claim my defeat. You win my dear, I’m tired. As you can see, by writing this down I announce my defeat and wish that someone out there cares enough to tell me that everything is gonna be alright.



Perfect Dream sebagai “Hadiah”

Tulisan ini bukanlah ulasan dari film Perfect Dream.Tulisan ini mengandung spoiler film. Baca dengan risiko sendiri.

Hari ini, 30 Maret 2017, film “Perfect Dream” mulai ditayangkan di bioskop seluruh Indonesia. Film ini sendiri sudah sempat ditayangkan pada Sabtu lalu, 25 Maret 2017, dalam Gala Premiere yang diselenggarakan di Atrium Ciputra World Surabaya. Tidak tanggung-tanggung, pihak Ciputra yang turut mendukung film ini membuka 6 Studio Ciputra World XXI. Keenam studio ini didedikasikan khusus menayangkan film “Perfect Dream” pada pukul 21.15 malam secara cuma-cuma untuk para undangan yang mayoritas adalah selebritis, pengusaha, tokoh penting dan sosialita kota Surabaya. Kebetulan saya, yang tidak termasuk golongan-golongan tersebut, beruntung mendapatkan undangan dan dapat hadir dalam kesempatan itu.

Sebelum kita melanjutkan lebih jauh, harap tonton dan perhatikan baik-baik trailer dari film “Perfect Dream” ini. Dalam trailer-nya disebutkan bahwa film ini terinspirasi dari “true event”. Sayangnya, tidak dijelaskan “true event” apa yang menginspirasi film ini. Dalam press release media pun hanya disebutkan bahwa film ini bercerita tentang kehidupan sosialita.

Tapi apakah benar demikian?  Continue reading

Terima Kasih Mojok!

Tepat pada hari ini, 28 Maret 2017, situs resmi ditutup dan semua artikelnya tidak bisa diakses. Mungkin para pembaca masih bisa membaca kembali artikel-artikel tersebut melalui situs lain yang mengunggah artikel-artikel yang sempat tayang di Saya sendiri mungkin akan mengunggah beberapa artikel saya yang pernah tayang, tapi tidak semua tentunya.

Bulan lalu, pada 28 Februari 2017, tim dan Mas Puthut EA sendiri sudah mengumumkan pembubaran mojok. Banyak sekali pihak yang ribut dan menyayangkan keputusan tersebut. Saya sendiri sempat diberondong pertanyaan alasan dibalik keputusan bubarnya mojok oleh beberapa orang.

“Kenapa mojok harus tutup?”, pertanyaan itulah yang saya dapatkan sebulan terakhir ini. Saya hanya mampu menggelengkan kepala dan menyampaikan ketidaktahuan saya. Saya memang tidak turut ambil pusing seperti orang lain yang heboh menyayangkan keputusan tersebut. Bukan saya tidak peduli, saya hanya menyangkal berita tersebut. Saya tidak mau percaya bahwasanya akan benar-benar bubar. Sayangnya, hari ini saya HARUS percaya dan menerima kenyataan tersebut. Continue reading

Bad Move, Niantic.

On 31 July 2016, NianticLabs released an update version of Pokemon Go – their incredibly famous game that successfully gained lots of money right after its release. Along with the cosmetic updates (such as new badges’ art, customizing trainer profile, new animations, etc.) they also brought terrible updates that resulted in user rage. A huge rage that resulted in purchases refunds along the way. Their subreddit post also went rough, from “We love Pokémon Go” to “Fuck Niantic!”.

I don’t think they see this coming, since they did not put any word to their community and did not respond to their complain, yet. All they did was released a new updates on 1 August 2016 which mentioned by reddit users LCBlaze as “Could be to reset the reviews” – referring on massive negative reviews on both App Store and Play Store. That’s harsh, but since NianticLabs does not provide any information regarding to the ongoing issue, they kinda deserve it.

At least, we can learn a lot from this incident. Well, I learn a lot from this. Continue reading

Barely Hear You


Surabaya get its rainy season. It rained nearly everyday. I caught them when I went and left for work, and of course I caught a cold the day after.

Since I can do almost everything I need to do, I forgot if I have a cold and didn’t get enough rest. I deal with my nasal mucus for a week, or so. Sneezed and blew my nose.

One day, I woke up with something bugged my left ear. I felt like something covering it, I barely hear anything. I took a cotton bud and clean it. But it didn’t work. Then I tried to do the stupid and barbar method, I tilted my head, knocked it and wished the unknown thing that covering my ear would fell off. Well, IT WORKS! So I lifted my head.. get ready to start the day. Theeen, it hit me again.

After a few times of bow down and tilted my head, turned out that my left ear lost its ability whenever I put my head in a normal position. But I hear everything as clear as usual if my head faced down. My conclusion was, a fluid, probably my mucus, trapped in my left ear. Blocking every sound that my left ear should received.

But still, I didn’t really give a shit about it. I thought it’s gonna be okay in a few days. The fluid will out on its own, and I’ll recover my sense of hearing. So I started the day with a half-deaf condition. It went just okay and normal, except my colleagues need to repeat several things when we talked.

Few days later, when I thought it will be okay, turned out it getting worse. I woke up with a buzzing sound in my left ear. My body temperature a lil bit off. I get mad easily and grumpy. And when I tried to bow down to fix them like before, I felt like my left ear get stabbed to my brain. So I called it a day and decide to visit an ENT specialist.

I went to the Premiere Hospital, take a queue number and waiting. The ENT specialist placed next to the pediatrician. While I wait, I saw this little kid walked around the waiting room with his nasal mucus gently flowed to his mouth. He sneezed and look at me. He passed me by with that fucked up face, with a lot of mucus in his face. I couldn’t help but got dizzy. I imagined about those that trapped in my left ear.

Thank God the nurse called me and asked me to get into the doctor’s office, that random yet disgusting imagination instantly vanished.

The doctor asked me what happened while checking my health records. I told him about the cold and my left ear. I also mentioned my sinus condition to him. He checked me out, and said that I got an ear infection because of my bad habit on sneezing. I sneezed too hard, resulted a high pressure to my ear and caused an infection. Fortunately, my sinus and asthma is okay. So what I need to do is a full recovery from the cold! He gave me antibiotics, several medicines and nasal spray. I should get better in a week, or I’ll need to check in for another treatment.

I don’t know if I’ll get better or no. But the thought of losing my left ear is frightening. I used to listen to my fave song or watch a TV-shows to make me feel better. But it stress me out even more to do those. All that I can hear was a buzzing sound in my left ear, driving me nuts and anxious. I’m afraid I’ll be half-deaf and need to read lips to help me better in understand what you were just saying. I’m afraid I can’t enjoy the sound of the ocean when the waves trying to kiss the shorelines. I’m afraid I can’t play any instruments and enjoy a good music.

Oh well, you don’t know how much it means til you lose it, don’t you?